BLOCKS TO LISTENING
1.
Comparing – Always
trying to assess who is smarter.
Can’t
let much in because you are busy seeing if you measure up.
2.
Mindreading – Always
distrust what people say. You are
trying to figure out what
what “they are really thinking or feeling”
* Make
assumptions about how people react to you
3.
Rehearsing – Don’t
have time to listen when you are
Rehearsing
what you are going to say.
4.
Filtering
– listen to some things and not others
Pay
just enough attention to see if someone is angry or unhappy or if you are in
emotional danger. Once you know the
communication does not contain those things, you let your mind wander.
*
Avoid hearing certain things.
5.
Judging
– If you prejudge someone to be stupid or unqualified,
you do not pay much attention to what they have to say.
6.
Dreaming
– When you are half listening to what someone says that triggers a chain
of associations.
*
Happens more when bored or anxious.
7.
Identifying
– take
everything a person says and refer it back to your own experience.
*
Have tendency to launch into your own story before they finish theirs.
8.
Advising
– You are a great problem solver and ready to help and do not have to hear
more than a few sentences before you begin searching for the right advice.
* You do not hear the feelings or
acknowledge the pain.
9. Sparring – When you argue and debate with other people
* the other
person never feels heard because you are quick to disagree.
*
A lot of your focus is on finding things you disagree with.
10.
Being right – Will
go to any length to avoid being wrong.
*
Cannot listen to criticism or correction
*
Cannot take suggestions to change
11.
Derailing
– Suddenly change the subject (derailing the train of conversation)
*
Happens when you are bored or uncomfortable with the topic
12.
Placating
– You want to be nice, pleasant and supportive
* Want people to like you so you agree with everything
*
May half listen just enough to get the drift of the conversation